ugh

Well, the good news is there isn't anything wrong with me except for a bruise or contusion of my rib from when I tripped on the stairs  Figured it was nothing   But my sister got me a little worried about a punctured lung and since I can't breathe without feeling like I'm getting stabbed below my right breast.  Anyway, they sent me home with some modest pain meds and I'm laying here waiting for them and the sleeping pills to kick in so I can sleep, and Peter'll be home eventually, so I'll get some cuddles.  Just really didn't want to spend Christmas Eve Eve at the hospital.  Too many Holiday's spent at the hospital worrying about one or the other of my parents. Anywho.  Glad it was nothing serious.  Still need to make cookies tomorrow morning and the pasta dish I've been elected to make for Christmas.  ;)  I am so excited.  My fiance's family is awesome and so welcoming.  I sure wish my Mom could be here too though  I know her and my soon to be Mother in Law would have really gotten along well.  I'm sad for the friendship they never had.  Anyway.  Going to play computer games and then sleep!

Apocalypse Pony!

Been doing some interesting reading on Facebook today.

I'm a little overwhelmed by how many of my intelligent, resourceful, educated and common-sense filled friends are more or less preparing for an economic apocalypse, a bloody revolution or a zombie plague.

No.  Really.

And the more I've been noticing the insanity happening around this country, the more I wonder if I should hop on their wagon, because things are getting scary.

Fire departments are letting houses burn down because the owners didn't pay a fee.  That is a perfect representation of the future with privatized-everything.  I am terrified.

Everyone seems to be talking about having access to clean water, farmable land and guns.  Lots of guns.

I am a pacifist.  I really am.

But if it came to war here?  I'll learn how to shoot a gun.  We're fortunate in that many of our relatives have guns and land, along with friends who I am certain would welcome us.  I'm good at the whole kid rearing thing overall and I'm a teacher at heart, and that would be useful for educating the next generation if it comes down to it.

I like to think that we're a long ways off from that place, but sometimes I really wonder.  I look at my sons face and wonder how long before things get much worse here.  All the signs are there.

I remain faithful, and hopeful, but I think I need to prepare for any possibility in order to protect my family.

What are your thoughts?

Huh.

Just found a lump in my right breast.  Having some shooting pain right around there too.  May be time to set up a docs appt.

HBO!

Ahh man, HBO.  You make it so hard when I am poor!  They have just released some awesome new merchandise from all of my favorite shows!  (Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones and True Blood!)   And the best/worst part is that most of the prices are really pretty reasonable.  I'm just poor.  lol.  Oh well.

I'm enjoying my Burt's Bees cleanser that I got through being a Bzzagent.  It's awesome, and it's all for sensitive skin, so I would definitely recommend it!

I'm off to Chicago next weekend with two of my best friends.  One is auditioning for the Glee Project and I truly think she would be incredible!  I haven't road tripped anywhere beyond 150 miles with friends before, so this is going to rock.  I seriously cannot wait!!

And even more exciting, one of my dearest friends has asked me to be her Bridesmaid for her upcoming nuptials!  I absolutely can't wait.  Never thought in my life I would make my way to Haiti, but it's a destination wedding on a cruise, and I am soooo excited.

Oh and then there's Peter and my wedding coming up next September.  Craziest busy year ever, but I'm pumped. :)

Yowch.

My back is very angry at me today.  Not entirely sure why, I've been resting it pretty well since all of the extremely heavy lifting.  Pretty sure something is out of alignment.  I need insurance.  Wish I was better at filling out forms.  For sure I qualify for assistance with medical but I have a panic attack every time I try to fill out their 14 page form.  What's weird is I can fill it out for other people no problem, it's only when it relates to me that I freak out.  I'm a strange one.

Conferences tonight!  Apparently my sons girlfriends teacher talked all about how sweet she and him are together to his girlfriends Mama who's a wonderful friend of mine.  Cutest thing ever.  They're best friends.  I couldn't be happier if that's who he grows up to marry.  She's the sweetest little girl and her family is beyond incredible.

Is it lazy to take a nap when your back hurts this much?  I'm seriously considering it.  I wish I had a heating pad.

Movies!

Finished the garage sale this weekend. Didn't make much but it helps the ends meet.

I'm sore as can be so I've been resting a bit, watching tv.  Enjoying the awesome Bert's Bee's sensitive skin products that were sent through BzzAgent.  It's just awesome.  Helping with the wind chafing.

Watching Terra Nova in the background and surfing IMDB.  Going to post the first ten films coming up that I'm excited about and just found through IMDB roaming. ;)

1.  Hansel and Gretl:  Witch Hunters.   http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1428538/
2.  Pan   - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0775521/
3.  Abraham Lincoln:  Vampire Hunter       http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1611224/
4.  The Raven - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1486192/
5.  The Dictator  - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1645170/
6.  The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0359950/
7.  The Curse of the Buxom Strumpet - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1879068/
8.  The Wettest County in the World  - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1212450/
9.   Ghostbusters III  - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1289401/
10.  Oz:  The Great and Powerful   http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1623205/

Anything you're looking forward too?

And the money kept rollin' in.. ( or not)

I have to find a job. There's so little around and I am so, so poor right now. Any legit work from home things any of you know about? I type 90 wpm, and have experience in customer service, theatre, retail and working with kids.

Remembering.

Wonderful article about one of my dear friends from Arts High who killed himself our Jr year. I still cry thinking about him. He was such a bright star, and good person. I am so sad to see the bullying that occurs in schools. My son is 7 and has been accused of being a "fag" because he likes to hum and dance. I don't understand why there is so much hate in children. I look back at when I was bullied for being poor and fat in elementary and middle school and I remember wanting to die. It's so terrible that people do this to each other. We need to teach our children love. I just don't understand. So much damage is done. It makes me so sad.

http://www.citypages.com/2011-09-28/news/erik-turbenson-suicide-foreshadowed-gay-taunting-trouble-at-anoka-hennepin/

Sleepy and wishing

Oh man! The Kindle Fire looks SO amazing. I want to try one more then I can possibly say. lol. Darnit. I don't think anyone I know is going to buy one soon. If one of you gets one will you let me know if you can access amazon from it, and if there's apps and a camera? You'd rock my world. :) Thank you!

Happy TV time!

There are so many good shows on television these days.

I just watched the season 2 premiere of Boardwalk Empire and I thought it was delightful. Very much missed. Love that show. Love HBO in general to be honest. With True Blood and Game of Thrones on if I had to pick just one channel to have all the time it would be HBO.

Tonight we're going to watch the premiere of Terra Nova. It looks pretty good I think. Anyone heard much about it? I know there's dinosaurs so I'm in. lol

Won some amazing giveaways! Motherhood The Musical the soundtrack just came in and they actually sent me two copies! I'm giving one to my dear friend who lives just down the block and is coming over for her weekly Monday Boardwalk Empire rerun night ( They don't have HBO). So win for both of us, yay! I won a Chuck-Ee Cheese giveaway, my son is beyond delighted. A cd just came in the mail, Robert Pierre's I'm All In. Looking forward to giving that a listen.

Oh and redeeming my sweetener for coffee I won a coupon for and reading Solitaria and Eleanor Roosevelt's Life of Soul Searching and Self Discovery. They sound great and are both inscribed and autographed by the authors! I am so blessed!

Sleeeepy.

Stayed up way too late with my man last night. Don't get me wrong, we had lots of fun. We played musical darts with our friends until way late. ( You can only throw a dart while you're singing. Anything goes! We did theme show songs. I think my favorite that I did was the JG Wentworth commercial jingle. Haha. Barely was able to throw the darts. ) We ended up tie-ing and then came home and I know we weren't asleep until 3. I've been up for an hour today all ready.

It's my Dad's birthday! :) I should probably clean the house but my back is so sore and I'm exhausted Drew keeps complaining about losing all of his stylus's for his ds. Seriously, there's at least 15 in the house. I bought him a ten pack and some of his games came with them too an he's still lost them all.

We're going out to breakfast when Dad feels up to it, and then tonight the guys are taking him out to celebrate. Should be fun. I'm typing with my eyes closed,o I think I'm going to see about closing my eyes and resting on the couch for a few.

Any bets I have before my kiddo wakes me up to whine about having lost his stylus instead of looking for it? lol

I'm so excited! I was just chosen for a BzzCampaign!

How awesome is this? I really like Burt's Bee's from the times that I've tried it. It has never reacted badly to my skin and I have a number of friends who have very sensitive skin and they are still able to use Bert's Bee's. I love the small and the quality. I can't wait to see what this Bzz Campaign has in store.

Are you a Bzz agent yet? The idea is just sharing what you think of the products that you're sent to try. Seems like a darn good deal to me. :)

So, also, I really want to get into hosting giveaways here, and am just a little overwhelmed at where to even begin. Does anyone have any recommendations?

And I still want to keep the blog as mainly a writing blog, but I think giveaways would be fun. I'd like to be able to give back to the community that has been so generous to my family and I through the amazing contests I've entered.

I have a lot of books. Maybe I'll host one of my own. I like entering contests through Rafflecopter. Is it easy being on the other side of it, those who have had contests of your own?

I guess I'm just being a little internet-phobic after the overhaul of Facebook.

Baseball!

I had a good cry yesterday and feel better today. We're off to a baseball game at the new stadium. My sisters Birthday present to my Dad and I can't wait! I hope it gets a little warmer, it's an outdoor stadium so it'll be a little gloomy if it stays like this.

Won a couple more contests. Sure grateful for this string of luck. Hope it holds out. :)

How are you?

*sigh*

Trying so hard to stay positive right now. No idea how we're going to pay any of our bills. I'm so overwhelmed. I would qualify for so much public assistance but literally go into a panic attack every time I even look at one of those forms to fill out. I can't do it. I literally can't breath and am crying just thinking about it. God, please let things get better.

I don't know how the people who helped make the economy the way it is with all of their millions just living on their interest can actually sleep at night. Same with those businesses that send all of their work overseas.

It's wrong. It's ruining this country.

With a lil' bi' o' luck!

Low key night. Throat's a little blah, and nose is a little stuffy. Think I might be getting what my kiddo had. Oh well. It was bound to happen. I have one of ~those immune systems. And I slept two hours last night. Did get a couple hour nap in but not sure it was enough. Some friends are out and about but we're both just feeling a little home-bodyish tonight.

Today was incredibly lucky though!

I won http://boystobooks.blogspot.com/2011/09/blog-contest-spartacus-and-circus-of.html

and, http://www.amomstake.com/2011/08/stinkykids-book-t-shirt-review-giveaway/

and http://savvyverseandwit.com/2011/09/mailbox-monday-143-and-bbaw-welcome.html and http://www.jennsbookshelves.com/2011/09/08/guest-post-genni-gunn-author-of-solitaria/

I couldn't even believe it. I haven't been sleeping much and I don't have a job right now so when the insomnia hits I tend to enter giveaways and I think I'm starting to win in reflection to that and I'm so excited! This is so many less books I have to buy that I'm going to read and that I can then send on to my friends who send it on to their book lovin' friends and it's a happy time. :) I can't wait! Really looking forward to starting to host giveaways here in the future. Just need to figure out how best to go about that. Anyway, going to sign off of here now and spend some time with my man. :)

Is it tacky that I have to ask? lol

So my little one has been a little sick. :( He had to miss the last two days of school. He's sleeping right now so I'm feeling no guilt about blogging. lol. I do feel a little guilt by the trash I'm watching. How the channel ended up on Tabitha's Salon Takeover I'll never know. And how I can't bring myself to change it shames me. lol

Waiting for Peter. He'll be here in a couple hours. Has to pick some veggies for tomorrow mornings early farmers market. Ooh, I'm so excited to be up at 6 on a weekend, let me tell you! :) All the same I really do like doing market with him and I also like the bookstore that's just down the street. Oh I can't wait to spend a goodly amount of time in there.

I've put on a bit of weight. Figure I'm nearly a married woman, what do ya'll care what I weigh, so this is just for me to track it. Last time on the scale it said 156. This is crap, since I was totally at 149 just after the show closed. Cruuuuud. I need more exercise and less potato chips. Pretty sure they're in large part to blame. That and how my sore back has been preventing me from doing as much as I would like. I really want to join the Gym.

Oh and the coolest thing! As of YESTERDAY it is ONE YEAR to my WEDDING!!! WOOOHOO!!!! Not that I'm excited, or happy or anything. Though the whole planning of the wedding is starting to loom overhead and kinda terrifes me. lol.

Is it tacky to make your wedding a potluck?

Most amazing find!

So at the thrift store today I found a book. One I've about halfway through with from a friends copy. I found an advanced reading copy of Neil Gaiman's Stardust. It's autographed. My heart nearly stopped. lol. I am so excited. This may be one of my favorite thrift finds ever!

Books!

Yay! BBAW is this week! I've been so fortunate in the past to win some incredible books during BBAW. I had big plans to host my own giveaway this year but we're not doing great financially at the moment and I just can't budget in the shipping, so we're going to aim for next year! :) I've been reading some really great books recently. The Game of Thrones series is incredible. My friend just finished book 4 and I'm next in line for it, and she dropped it off yesterday so I am thrilled to start reading more. Found out only about half of the characters are in this book so that's very strange. But what do you do? I'm exhausted, had True Blood night. Oh man. Very upset about certain happenings in this episode. if a certain someone is legit dead in the show I may cry. lol. Anyway, off to enter a couple contests and sleep. School in the morning for the kiddo and it always seems to come just after I close my eyes to sleep.

The worst thing about being a woman...

Oh my gosh. Unholy cramps!!! Owwwww. Have a wedding today which I can't wait for. Here's hoping my seizing guts won't prevent me from enjoying myself. I've taken a muscle relaxant and am trying to chill before I'm picked up for hair and makeup and all that fun stuff. Had a great time with Peter's family yesterday, it was basically a family reunion and it was fun. We picked lots and lots of beans and I managed to give myself heat stroke. I never remember to drink water when I'm working. I'm not always so smart. lol. It triggered a migraine but that's gone today thank goodness.

SOOOO sorry to anyone who got spam from my AOL account. :( I somehow got hacked. Have since changed password, hope that's the end of it, but man do I feel like an idiot. How did that even happen? Ugh. So sorry guys. :(

absolute agony from my back today (and most of this week) the spasms have been out of control. i know in large part it's because i've had to move set pieces that are too heavy and awkward for me, and everytime i've said anything about it, there's a certain male cast member who always tries to make me feel bad "well i have back problems too, and i can lift it with one hand!" guess what buddy, if you can lift it with one hand, and i'm reduced to a sobbing shaking mess after trying to lift it with all my strength my back problems might be worse then yours. just saying. thank god for the rest of the cast. i had a spasm that lasted over twenty minutes during our show the other day and thankfully my dad brought a pain pill and some muscle relaxants and i was able to get the spasm to stop. tried cleaning my house today and apparently shouldn't have attempted to lift a box of books because this spasm is going on for at least as long and i did 3 muscle relaxants.. to no avail. i just don't understand why i have to be in pain constantly. i'm so tired of hurting all the time.

Love rocks. Just saying. :)

I think it's terrible when adults pick on children. Absolutely pathetic, actually.

Senuti is a really awesome program. I was able to save all my music on my ipod, and now my music is all together in one place. Happy Day! I'm so excited! This is going to make walking so much more fun. And I have rehearsal tonight so I think I'll just walk there and get some exercise. Awesomeness. Lily's hanging with me watching cartoons, nearly nap time. I have been neglecting my contesting and have noticed since I haven't been getting anything exciting in the mail lately. lol. Maybe during nap time I'll try and catch up a little.

Sad.

My fiance's sister is mad at me, and whatever, that's fine, but it really sucks for my kid. He keeps asking when he's going to see his "Auntie" again. Like seriously? What can I even say? Sadness.

Am doing a musical with a BUNCH of my friends this summer, i'm a Pick A Little Lady in Music Man, and one of my dearest friends, and she's a bridesmaid too, and her husband are playing Marian and Harold, so that's cool, and just tons and tons of friends are going to be there. Peter isn't. He didn't audition, has too much going on with moving and what not. His kitty's moving in here this weekend! Hoping we can kick the peeing other places but the litterbox habit. Either way still better then Milo was towards the end of his life.

Oooh, time to read The Horse and His boy before school. It's growing on me, but so far I really prefer the first two. Shasta kind of annoys me. I like Aravis though. And it's weird to see Susan and Edmund all growing up and Susan being old enough to have a marriage arranged. Makes me wonder about all of the kids and what adult experiences they had, if you know what I'm saying. lol. Can you imagine coming back to being a kid after umm... ya know? lol

Is so sick and tired of the polarization of the political process.

Seriously.

I can't believe all of the nasty things on Facebook I'm reading.

I mean seriously you all, this is a win for the world.

All of this "GOD LOVES AMERICA MOST!" God bless America and only America. It's funny. I don't remember reading in the Bible that God made America. I thought he made the Earth. And this whole idea of "GOD LOVES US MORE. WE"RE THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!! We're SO MUCH BETTER then everywhere else..." well you can tell by the levels of child molestation, rape, murder, and all of the greed and cruelty in this country that maybe we have some stuff to work on...

Statues of the World

My favorite Author posted this on her Facebook, and I had to share. :)

http://www.cracked.com/article_19155_the-14-most-unintentionally-terrifying-statues-in-world.html?wa_user1=1&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=feature_module

That first one in Finland I've seen face to face, and found it just as disturbing then as in pictures. lol

HBO

I looooove HBO. They have the very best shows. I started my HBO love affair with Six Feet Under so long ago, and then fell in love with both Deadwood and Rome, and then Big Love and True Blood. But man... I ABSOLUTELY LOOOOOOOVE Game of Thrones! I wish I wasn't so dang broke so I could buy the books, I want to read them so badly. This show is absolutely incredible. The acting is brilliant!

Oh and I had a wonderful Easter and hope you did too. I feel super guilty because Peter and I both slept through the alarm for church. :( I feel so bad. But we did, and we'll be more careful next year. Drew had an amazing easter, we ate at the Racing Track, and bless them they actually had vegetarian options. I over did it. Ever since I had my gall bladder out, it hurts a lot when I over eat. So I actually came home after Peter left and took a nap. It was crazy. Drew came up and cuddled too, and we read a little and watched movies and also the Easter Bunny brought him a squirt gun so there was much playing outside ( It was so gorgeous here today!!!!) and squirting of cars. It was fun.

Anyway, i'm going to try and clean my house a little more. Also perplexed by a text I received. I just don't know what's up. Oh well. Every other thing in my life is great so i'm not going to sweat it yet.

Oh also, Jen had her baby shower and it was amazing! I can't wait to welcome Madeline Rose into the world. Everyone's getting baby fever. It's awesome. Pretty dress first. Then baby. I get things out of order sometimes.. ;)

Anyway, hope all is well with you and yours.

Smaller

So I've decided I'm going to lose weight. I want to look really good for my wedding, so it's going to happen. So if you see me eating fatty food... give me crap. :)

tummy bug of doom day 2.

casualties so far... my dignity and my night with my man.

sadness.

Giveways!

I thought it was high time I posted about what giveaways have done for my family and I.

I discovered the giveaway community about a year and a half ago, and promptly won a couple of wonderful books, and realized, hey this giveaway thing is awesome. I should spend more time doing that then playing facebook games. Plus I'm an insomniac, so I spend a fair amount of time when I'm feeling well enough and have enough time to do so.

I love blog giveaways, and other giveaways on the internet. They're a fun thing for me to do, and they really do pay off. I've won wonderful chocolates and snacks to feed my family. Things I probably wouldn't have bought on my own but now my family can enjoy them and we've become brand loyal as well through these.

I've become blog loyal too. I have my main three blogs I enter anything that looks awesome on. Sometimes I win twice a month,s ometimes not at all, but usally at least once every 6 weeks or so, so long as you enter with as many entries as possible and have your few you always enter, statistically you're bound to win something, and it's so much fun! I've been very lucky and I am really grateful. I've received lovely clothing items for my son, my god daughter, my neice and myself!

The food is the best though, especially in these economic times. Being poor sucks, but it's nice to be able to enter for those little treats, especially with a kid who looooves to eat, and variety is the spice of life. ;)

My friend's dropping off my God Daughter! Yay! Lily time!!!

Talk to ya'll later!

Shingles

So.. I thought I was having an allergic reaction to something and had hives.

They didn't go away. And they started to hurt. And spread.

Just got home from the ER. I have Shingles, and it's in my right eye. Have some seriously expensive medicine I couldn't afford, that will hppefully keep me from going blind in my right eye. I feel awful. Don't recommend this to anyone.

Goodnight ya'll! Hope your tomorrow is remarkable. =)

My Mom would have been 62 2 days ago. It's so weird to not have her here on her birthday. Hair was here too, and my sister and I wanted to go see it in honor of her. She loved that musical, and I've never seen it, but I'm broke. Who isn't right now? Gas is insane. I'm reeeally worried about the future. Wish we would have started using renewable energy as soon as the technology was there, but the dollar is so much more important. ay yi yi.

Doing wedding planning. My wonderful and amazing friend Jaye has offered to do photos for my wedding as our wedding gift, which is a tremendous and incredible gift. She's the best photographer I know, and I am so so excited.

I've been looking at all the little details and just can't wait. Can't help feeling it's bittersweet though. Missing my Mom so much lately. Love Peter's Mom so much, but so wish my Mom could be here too. They'd be such good friends. Just found a brooch I want to give to them both, but can only give to one of them as our little wedding gift.. It's beautiful. I'm crying though thinking of how much my Mom would have loved it too.

ARRRRRRRRRGH

In SO MUCH PAIN. I hate my back i hate my back ihatemybackihatemyback. Contemplating home surgery to amputate it, swear to god. done with this so done with this. whywhywhywhywhy!?!?! I can't live like this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoooops.

I totally bombed an audition tonight. I had never practiced the song with just the chords and that's how the pianist ( who was totally sweet!!!) played it, and I kinda sucked. lol. Guess I won't be getting a birthday call back! Bummer! More time with my family though, and to get the house in order for when Peter moves in if I wait until this summer to do a show, I just feel like I'm drowning because I haven't been on stage since last summer, and I just really miss being in a show. Ran into a friend from high school tonight, she performs as Princess Leia at different cons and what not, and she's super sweet. She ended up giving me her Princess Leia Trading Card. I gave it to Drew when I got home, and he thought it was the coolest thing ever. ;) People are so cool.

I am so in love. :)

I've been reeeally sick the past few days, lots of nasty tummy things I won't describe but it was not fun and I'm feeling a bit better today, my stomach still hurts but much better overall.

My man called me on the way home from band practice, and I was kinda whining. lol. I get a little bratty when I don't feel good, and he asked me if a hug would help, and I realized he was parked outside.

I booked it down the stairs and got a wonderful hug. Don't want to get him sick so no kissing or any of that fun stuff, but the hug was amazing. I felt completely revived afterwards, and I can't stop smiling.

Pre-exercise rambling.

So, while out thrifting with my soon to be Mother-In-Law, I discreetly purchased a dvd of "Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease". Hahahahaha.

I've now decided to try it. hehe. We will see what happens.

I am one of those extremely clumsy people.

I hope I don't break anything.

haha. ;) We'll see what happens!

Can't believe I'm abandoning the Golden Globes for working out. Who is this new me?

Oh, had an awesome double birthday part day today. My sons amazing girlfriend just turned 7 and they held hands for half the party and sat next to each other, and they're just so adorable. Love her Mom, and she is just the sweetest little girl. I totally added her Mom as a friend on facebook. Think potential to become good friends is there, which is awesome!

Just happy overall. Except for the weight I gained. Not happy about that one bit. Kinda cranky with me. Gonna fix it! Off I go to do that. lol

I had an audition tonight. It was so much fun to act again, even just for a little while. Luckily I get a second chance tomorrow! ;) Got called back, so here's hoping. I miss being on stage so much, this would be wonderful! Sure would put a jump on my new years resolution. lol. ;)

I have had a few really awesome wins lately! I love entering contests. I enter so many, and recently have been pretty lucky. It's really fun. :)

Hoping you all are having a wonderful 2011!